SHH.. Special

Sometimes things happen in life and everything, all the world around you brcomes hectic. You just want a moment to sit down and relax to the beuty of the world. Till now i do not comprehend what is happening because it feels like a train ride where one can only look through the passing world through a glass window…. You can’t control how fast or slow things move outside nor can you control where you are going for the destination has been already chosen from the moment God gave you breath. I chose this track though. I chose this route though. How bumpy or comfortable the train ride is without a doubt differs from one soul to the other.

Looking through my window, I have seen-what I think to be- much people. Poor or rich, sick or healthy, educated and uneducated, religious and lost…. One can not escape to wonder the stories of each of these persons I have seen… What do their hearts bare? What sorrows lingers within them? What are the depths of their longings? Remarkably, everyone has found their way and they are living through these suffocations of society.

The wind blows outside I am sure even though I haven’t felt it on my skin nor has it cooled my love forsaken heart. I am sure only because I see it taking everything to flight.

time…. A wonderous element in life …. If only… If only we can understand why it goes so fast sometimes and so slow other times?

My morning is quite …. finally.


Yesterday in my dream habibi hugged me
Kissed me from my cheeks and shut my burning desire
I told him come closer make up what I longed for
Do you accept your compassion to leave me alone? Dying of patience and sadness just moments forgetting me? Do you accept me to live in prison in which you imprisoned me in?
I woke up and you were in a different country habibi
My uncle this handsome man to death he made me walk
He was the one that burned my excitement and he was the one that treated this wound
Her lips are like Aleppo’s pistachio and pampering my sons
We don’t want morning to come, we don’t like morning to come
Your light is enough
As long as we have this sweetness let the light closed
I am dying for your seeing and your warm laps
And I woke up from my sleep and you are in a different country
I want to complain to you about the one who I crossed the river for him and put him on my head. Every dive I take I feel like death and inside I choke on my breath. All this and u still told your order and it was sweeter than honey. Where u want me to go with u I will go but don’t hurt my feelings…
Our eyes are crossing each other and I see your eyes are looking at another. I favoured u over me and with this lost all my consideration .
Tell me what I have done wrong to you and tell me other orders.
On my ribs sleeps the night I told you sleep and I will keep gaurd.
I put you on my head and I named you the most precious person of all.

Translation of this song:

It was the end of February 2013…..That was the first time I told my family that I am deeply in love with “the one” and that he wants to ask for my hand in marriage.

I was a freshman in university in my second semester of the first year. Yeah I can admit that getting married in first year is not logical but hey who ever told that true love makes you do logical things?

Not going in much detail….. “No” was the answer I got from all the people I loved.

Why should I back down from the person I loved so so much? Why should I “leave him and find better later” as my family put it?

This man is perfect for me since I knew if I searched every male in this world over and over again I could not find someone this much I am relaxed and happy with.

Why should I listen to them when they haven’t met him? …..

All my life I have picked my battles wisely. Things like morality and education and family life as well as religion were priorities of my life and I always fought for my opinion to be heard.

But this battle I am going to fight. I was ready to convince and persuade until my last breath even if there was a faint light at the end of the tunnel of success.

After years of listening to sappy Arabic romantic music and classical music of the west, I had a dream of finding the one. The perfect man that would be madly in love with me, that would make me fly with every kiss. The man that would make me happy with only his smile and the man that makes me feel secure and safe. I craved for this perfect soul that would be mixed with mine.

The songs told of a lover that owned my heart each day that showered me with sweet words and soft touches. It told that this soulmate this life partner would make me the most valuable person and possession of his heart. He would be my everything, my life, my light and through him I can see the world a better place.

Puberty years went by quickly as did highschool and the teenage romances that I never engaged. I had one lover and that was the words in the delicate poems of kathem el saher’s songs. I remember falling asleep every night with my headphones stuck to my ears as I imagined the sweet soul portrayed in these songs.

As soon as I entered university, my heart drifted away from the songs I worshiped to one particular man.

I remember asking myself after one day of talking to him…. Can this be true love?

He was more than what I had envisioned every night listening to those songs. He was as sweet as honey and most handsome that my eyes have ever seen. He had the most cutest smile and the most adorable eyes. Best of all was his pure white heart that glistened in a sea of angles.

How did the waves of love threw me to his warm arms? Why did God wait this long to give me this gift that makes me this much happy everyday? I don’t know this much lucky I am… For the happiness that I found that threw out all my sadness, for the desire that I found that now is the power to pump the blood in my veins…. For the utmost precious man in this world.

Until I entangled myself in his hands and became owned by his love…. This is the feeling I was searching for that feels like volcanoes rupturing everytime I hear his deep voice. There is not one way I can save myself from this burning love that has gotten me addicted to him.

The songs are now alive in flesh and blood. This sweet, loving character in my mind is now in my arms. With every sweet look, my fear now increases that I might be living a dream.

Money, in my perspective, is not as important as happiness. Happiness is what binds people together and lets you have an enjoyable life. On the contrary, money can break families apart; make you greedy and too preoccupied to try to achieve the most amounts of cash. It is happiness that allows one to feel success and achievement. Therefore, I would approve of a job that pays a little but makes me happy. For example, everyone wants to be a CEO of a company or a famous surgeon or artist, but even though these jobs make a lot of money, I personally will not be happy. I will be too preoccupied with my work, I will forget my personal happiness and I will therefore live a miserable life. And all for what? For money? Well money will not let me ruin my life in which I only live once!

Family, personal, social pressures and financial realities can make the career choice difficult. Parents and relatives all want you to become a lawyer or doctor, for example, but you like a different career such as engineering. What will you do then? Do you give in to their demands or follow your own choice of career? Moreover, your personal values and interests can also weigh in on the career choice decision. Are you going to go to dance school because you like to dance? Or are you going to medical school because you want a hefty, stable income? Furthermore, a big barrier to making one’s career choice is if he/she has money to sustain the costs of tuition fees, residence, basic needs and so forth. Therefore, there are many factors that make the career choice difficult and can even keep you away from pursuing your dream career.

Rough economic times can certainly affect your career choice or simply not have any affect at all. In a recession, for example, people can’t afford to have their cars fixed or even buy a car. Therefore, the career of a car dealer or a mechanic will get affected as less and less people will contribute to their income. The jobs that get affected by a downfall in the economy are the careers that provide a good or service that is considered a “want” for the consumer (a luxury). However, jobs that will not be affected by an economic turn are the jobs that provide a good or service that is considered a “need” that is food, clothing, and shelter. Therefore, no matter what happens in the economy, the food providers will never do bankrupted.


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